December 17, 2009, is a day I was not prepared to face. This day is the day my dog, Brook, was sent to God. It is one week until Christmas, so I anticipated spending my day finishing shopping for presents. I really just needed to make one stop for a few stocking stuffers, and another stop to pick up some household items. Boy, did my day turn out to be much different! As usual, Brook went along for the ride, keeping me company in between my stops. The weather is cool here in Kansas, so I did not worry leaving her in my truck with the windows cracked. I returned to her and my truck after finishing my first shopping destination. All seemed natural, so I gave her a pat and focused on the next task. As I was driving, I heard a faint nose coming from the passenger seat. When I glanced over at Brook, I noticed she had vomited all over herself and the truck. I pulled over and gave Brook a little water; she wouldn't drink very much. While dialing Jeremy's cell number, I put the truck in drive pointed towards home. He asked me if I looked at Brook's gums to see if they were pink or white. During George's time of death we learned this could be a sign of shock. At the next red light, I leaned over to Brook and lifted up her lip to see white gums! My heart sank to my feet. I called Jeremy back telling him I was taking Brook straight to the vet. I stomped on the gas pedal, put my flashers on and carefully maneuvered around the unaware people positioning themselves as blockades. I remember telling myself I may be over-reacting and Brook is just car sick. I did not convince myself very well, because I started reminding myself she never gets car sick, she always has an appetite, and all the other problems she had been exhibiting were collectively showing a sign something was wrong. I called my friend, Shanda, who works at the vet to notify her we were on our way. I pulled up, walked to the passenger side of my truck, opened the door and asked Brook if she could get out. She gathered her strength and jumped out to the ground, following me to the office door and on inside. Brook gave me some hope at this point; she actually didn't seem very sick. While meeting with Dr. Gary, we went over the past few weeks, her medications, and the concern I was experiencing from her actions. He asked to take another CBC to compare with the one she had given just three days before. I informed him he could do anything he needed to do, because something just was not right. He explained he would also like to take a chest x-ray and possibly an ultrasound. If one test displayed the culprit, then he would not need to do all the steps. I left Brook there for testing, and asked them to call me when they found out anything. I live just a few short miles away. It wasn't long before I got the phone call I was anticipating, yet dreading. Dr. Gary explained it was not good news and requested I return quickly to the vet office. When I arrived, my vet friend was crying, so I immediately knew it was the worst of the worse news. Dr. Gary told me Brook's abdomen was full of cancer. He showed me the x-ray of her spleen with a grapefruit size tumor, and then said afterwards he did an ultrasound, which showed tumors on her liver. Brook was also so lethargic she could no longer stand and was unable to control her urination. She was also showing signs of neurological distress. While waiting on Jeremy and Ash to arrive, I spent time with Brook trying to comfort her. It makes me cry thinking about it now! I told her she was the BEST dog anyone could ever share their life with, and that George and my dad were waiting for her on the other side. I stroked her and told her over and over she was a good dog. The next hour was one of the toughest experiences I have had to face thus far in my journey. Brook went back and forth between seizures and wagging her tail while trying to lift herself to her paws to stand, unfortunately without success. I knew what I should do so she would not have to deal with this pain and confusion, but I couldn't make the call and stick to it. I was pulled both ways as I debated with myself on what was the right choice. There just was no right choice to make; it was an unfair situation. Finally, after consulting with the doctor, Jeremy and Ashley, we decided to let Brook's soul go to heaven. It was her time! I said goodbye to my canine companion... again and again, before the doctor and Jeremy took her to the room across the hall to put her to rest. My sister and I held each other in comfort with tears of sorrow for what was about to happen to Brook. Jeremy returned after a few minutes letting us know it was done. We went to Brook and offered our last stroke of care upon her body, barely able to hold our composure. We opted to take Brook with us to bury her at Ashley's house. She is buried by a tree for both shade and warmth from the strength offered by the protection of the tree. This is not the end, but only the beginning of her journey. I love you Brook!
No comments:
Post a Comment